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How can I talk to the girl I have a crush on?

Take her off the pedestal: 

The reason you can't say anything to this girl and think too much what to say is because you feel like you need to impress her and you feel like you need to impress her because you consider her to be superior to you, and you do that because you think her beauty is too mesmerising that when you compare yourself to her. 

You believe that if you wanna say something to her it better the most funny or interesting thing she is ever heard off or she will turn you down faster than you can say “Hello”, but that's not true. 

So take her off the pedestal, treat her like an equal and like she is a human, not a goddess, remember that she, like every other human, also likes to take a huge shit in the bathroom from time to time, as hopefully that will help you realize that she is not that perfect and that if she is not as perfect, then there is no reason for you to believe that you have to say the perfect thing or that you have to be perfect yourself for her to like you. 

Do not seek her approval is what I am saying, don't do or say things that you think she wants you to do or say, just because you think that will make her like you, because the reality is, it will not work.

Observe what she is doing, saying or wearing or what other people are saying, doing or wearing and comment about it: 

If she is has an iPhone you could talk about iPhones and Apple products, if she happens to be texting you could comment about texting habits and how much time you text. 

If she is studying you could comment about what you two want to study after school in college, or what you want to become in the future. If she is talking about a TV show, don't be afraid to talk about the Tv show and aka her questions about it if you haven't seen the tv show. 

If she is dressing in some clothes that you think make her look good, say a compliment about her fashion style, and ask her where she got the talent to dress so well… observe and comment.

Flirt and tease her: 

You could talk all you want with women but unless you flirt and tease her she is only gonna see you as a friend. 

So if you want her as more than a friend you had to flirt in an obvious way, so she notices that you are not just after friendship and tease so that she feels challenge, since girls don't tend to like when someone showers them with compliments all the time and never challenge them by messing with them. 

To tease her you could:

• Pretend like she is annoying you in a playful way.
• Telling her that you two can never be friends in a joking way and with a smile
• Blocking her path in a playful way
• Offering a high 5 and leave her hanging.

To flirt, you need to act like you are romantically interested in her, you do that by acting and talking in suggestive ways, for example: 

• Letting her see you checking her out
• winking her
• playfully touching her
•  playing footsie
• hitting on her
• misinterpreting what she says
• using double meaning jokes and words.

Have confidence and act confident or at least pretend to be confident until you are confident: 

The reason this is important is because if you stutter or are scared of her or of others who hear you talking and flirting with her, or if you doubt too much about what to say or doubt too much touching her then you will just be creepy.

You need to be sure of what you do and not doubt or be scared. You also need to believe that you are good enough for her even if she says something mean que negative about you or puts a weird negative face to you. 

You need to be sure of your own value as a potential lover no matter what, you have to really believe that there is no reason why a girl wouldn't like you, and be able to not get sad or affected by any negative thing others (including her) do or say. 

So if someone tries to be mean to you or piss you off, remember that a confident person doesn't get angry or affected by that, a confident person laughs or ignores in a funny not too serious way.

This is it, this 4 points are all you need to understand to be able to talk to her.

Tips to flirt better with girls if you are scared

To avoid the friendly vive, you need to be interested in sex to some extent without being creepy. You need to compliment her, treat her like she turns you on, now there is a fine line between being sexual and being creepy. If you come in too strong, you will scare girls away. If you however never show your intentions then she will always think you just want friendship.

So, compliment both her personality but also her looks, tell her she has a nice butt, or that if she keeps looking at you like that, you won't be able to control yourself, or that when she touches you like that your heart starts beating faster, or playfully touch her, tickle her if you two are comfortable with each other, wink at her, check her out and don't be shy about getting caught, don't apologise for expressing sexual interest, because if you express sexual interest and hen apologise it shows that you don't know what you want and that you are insecure, if you come on to strong and offend her then just kidding will do, but only if she is seriously offended, and next time remember not too come on that strong.

Other forms of flirting include teasing like: pretending she is annoying you, acting offended, playfully messing with her, taking something she wants further away out of her reach, trolling her, mimicking or imitating her, blocking her path playfully, making her think you are going to give her something and then taking it away when she tries to grab it.

Hitting on her, like pick up lines is considered flirting too, but you need to be careful not say something too cheesy or something she has heard a million times before. A sincere compliment of how her attitude sparks your sexual desire is also flirting such as: “when you show how smart you are about biological psychology, is like my brain has a reaction which causes my heart to beat faster making me feel hot all of the sudden” ok just made that up, but you get the point hopefully, dont just say wow you are so smart, instead say how a quality you admire from her makes you desire her and want her more.

Another way to flirt is to take what she says as an opportunity to hit on her for example:

She: are you gay? You: after seeing you, not anymore.

She: I bet you said that to every girl

You: Maybe, but I feel different when I say it to you.

She: Do you often approach girls?

You: Only those who punch me in the heart with eyes like yours.

Example of a flirty conversation with girls

Step 1 - Express your interest in her confidently clear and without fear: “I really like your fashion sense, it makes you look classy but quite attractive, my name is … I saw you and I thought you looked nice, so wanted to find out if your personality is as fine as fine as your looks ;)”

Step 2 - she answers, and if you know what you look for in a woman you can ask her questions to find out if she is the kind of woman that you want:

you: “so what are your hobbies, what do you do apart from talking to cute guys?” (Flirting example)

She: “hahaha, I work as a retail assistant in a clothing store and I also like to paint in my free time what about you?”

You: “well, I work in a company as a (your position) and on my free time I like to hit the gym and then I also like spending my free time making love, but only with a good woman ;) . So as you can see I’m a very versatile man :). But you said you paint on your free time? I don’t usually meet an artist, do you have any photos of your paintings?” (Don’t be afraid to bring up sex, bring it up and act like it’s the most normal thing to talk about)

She: hahah, wow, very versatile indeed. Wait let me look for my phone. (She is probably blushing)

you: don’t be like those girls who are afraid of admitting they have desires for fear of being judged, I’m a really open minded guy, anyways show me your paintings.

She: yeah I can show you I have some here in my phone, take a look… (for a good reaction you need to say the sexual thing (i like making love) and then change topic immediately in a natural way (so you paint on your free time? to distract her from the sexual tension created)

You: oh wow, you really have an artistic vain, I can already imagine you painting my beautiful body with your talented hands while I listen to classical music. (Close your eyes) Oh yeah, that feels wonderful…

She: hahahahaha… i would make you look really good if i painted you…

You: don’t tempt me, or I will be forced to get your number and make plans to see you sometime after work. For my painting. Fuck it, you seem like a cool girl, put your number in my phone…

She: hahaha, it’s 0753 - xxx - xxx

The point is to flirt, be fun, non serious, avoid being too creepy when you flirt (for example you cannot just say that you want to fuck her or look threatening or thirsty when you bring up sex because she would run away or call the cops) Just casually mention you like sex like it’s no big deal without fear or hesitation.

The worst that can happen is that she feels uncomfortable which will only happen if you came on too strong or serious, but the key is not to be afraid of making girls uncomfortable.. if she tells you fuck off so be it, go for the next girl and tone it down next time but keep bringing up sex in a smooth elegant non creepy way. Works best when it’s obvious it’s a joke.

And then just see how she is. It really isn’t about discussing politics. It’s about taking an interest in her and joke around a bit and flirt.

What to talk about or say to make a girl interested in you

The typical answer most people give to this question is be yourself. 

These people have never had a problem when it comes to dating so of course they just tell you to “be yourself” as if you haven't been yourself until they told you here in Quora, or when they say that girls either they are interested or they aren't, “as if you couldn't make yourself more attractive or interesting by working out or having an interesting life or interesting hobbies or social life, forgetting the fact that just because you talk about things that you both like doesn't mean the other person will want a romantic relationship with you, which is what you want.

So what then is the trick to get someone interested in you you might ask now? Well, its not a one magic trick and boom she is interested, I will try to explain as good as I can:

1- Make your life interesting. 

Why do I say this? because the majority of guys who want a girl to like them tend to be guys who don't have much going on in their life's apart from going to school, or work in a 9 to 5 boring job, or playing videogames and watching TV. If your life is not interesting you will have less things to talk about and your life will be less interesting. Most people are boring because they live boring life's, so if you stand out and do many different things like playing sports, music, traveling, learning languages, reading about topics you are passionate about, going to parties… etc you will have more experiences and things to talk about. The more experinces you have the more interesting you will be, and the easier to connect as well with other people. If you just play videogames all day and pretty much nothing else, why would anyone be interested in you?

2- Work out. 

Not only is it healthy for you but also makes you look more attractive, the more attractive you are the less interesting you have to be. See how many attractive girls get so much attention just for being pretty when they really are boring and do nothing interesting with their lives apart from buying clothes and make up from the mall…. With guys is the same most people who work out are pretty dumb, they really are not that interesting all they talk about is protein, 6 packs, and all that, yet they get many girls interested in them.

3- Act in a masculine way, not in a feminine way. (Probably gonna get hammered with this statement.) 

Why do I say it? Because many boys act very weak towards girls, they are insecure, they are clingy, needy So on… those behaviours are not masculine, I can't tell you how many women feel like they are the man in the relationship when they are dating guys who act like that. Attraction grows when men act more masculine and when girls act more feminine. 

So if you find yourself constantly texting girls To get them to like you over the phone stop, you are not gonna make them like you more over the phone at least not in a romantic way. Don't bombard her with texts, if she ignores you don't pursue her or demand from her why she hasn't replied to you, just continue living your life and go talk to other woman, never focus all your attention on one woman as that will most likely make you needy. 

If she ignores your text you should know that the quickest way to get someone's attention is also to remove your attention from them. be willing to walk away from a girl and mean it. If you are scared of losing a girl you will indeed lose her. Only use the phone to set up dates, not to get to know them.

 (If you use the phone/Facebook, whatsapp,FaceTime, Skype,iMessage…) to get to know them then you will just be a virtual pen pal, a text buddy.

(You won't get anywhere with women if you do most of the conversation online) Never put all your happiness into the girl, make sure that you can be happy without a girl. This is the most important point. If you are insecure the girl will end up leaving you. 

Girls don't appreciate clingy boys in the long term because they look like childs that girls have to take care of and reassure them constantly that they are loved, which is not their ideal of a strong independent men.

4- Do not be yourself, instead seek to be a better version of yourself. 

Why? Because if you are just yourself and until now you haven't got any woman interested in you then, what makes you think that that will change if you continue to be yourself??? Always aim to be better and more interesting.

5- Talk to many women.

The more you talk with women the more you will get used to them, the less anxious you will be when talking to them, and the more you will know what they like to talk about.

6- Travel:

The more you travel the more experiences you will have, most people don't go to many countries outside of theirs so by doing that you become the most interesting guy almost anywhere you go.

Conclusion:

Know that it's not so much as to what you talk about with women to make them like you, but rather how you behave with them. To make them interested in you, just act in a masculine way and dont put women in a pedestal, in other words don't treat women like they are princess who need to be pleased by their man or who need a man to make them happy, avoid listening to all their problems, avoid being their shoulder to cry on, becuase women don't want to date or have sex with men who act like their female friends or gay best friends. Also, avoid taking advice from songs or romantic comedies, why do I say this? Because this portrays fantasies for women which are not real… It's pretty much Porn for women. Have you ever watch porn? You would find that while it excites you, porn and reality are very different almost opposite. What works in romantic movies, love songs or porn, doesn't work in real life.

Why don't some girls like or find nice guys attractive?

I found this somewhere, but....there is a fair amount of truth to it, imo.
You hear it all the time: "He was such a NICE Guy, and she's such a Heartless Bitch for dumping him."

Nice Guys complain that women must WANT to be treated like shit, because THEY, the "Nice Guy" have failed repeatedly in relationships. This is akin to the false logic that "Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea."

If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it.

What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys (tm) are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.

Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...

Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.

Nice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a "lets get together for coffee" date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a "date".

They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.

They cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him.

Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one.

Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner.

Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here."

The nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousies and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people out there who can be a good match for her. We rarely stop loving people we truly care about. Even if we no longer continue the relationship, the feelings will continue... But love isn't mutually exclusive. We can (and do) love many people in our lives, and romantic love is really no different. Though he may love her immensely, there will likely be other people who have loved her just as much in her past, and will love her just as much in the future. The irony of it all is: "Who would want to go out with someone who was inherently unlovable anyways?"

More than loving the woman in his life, a Nice Guy NEEDS her. "She is my Life, my only source of happiness..." YECH! What kind of a burden is that to place on her? That SHE has to be responsible for YOUR happiness? Get a grip!

Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is usually disappointed by the results.

This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Guys don't like themselves. Is it any wonder women don't like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Guys mistake obsession for "love".

Get this Guys: INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY. IT'S A TURNOFF.

You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible.

How do you have a friend with benefits?

I have a friend with benefits, she was initially just a good friend, what I did was being very sexual, compliment her, flirt, touch her, dance with her. get close to her, go travel with her and sleep in the same bed of hostels with her.

There was always a bit of electricity when I was with her, when she touched me we both could feel that sort of electricity, like a weird pleasant feeling, when we watched movies we cuddled, and our hearts would start beating faster and the breathing would be more intense. You could say we had some electricity, although nothing happened for like the first 2 months. We were just friends.

The day we both had sex we were in a hostel, and I was taking a shower in the bathroom, I just came out naked because I forgot my towel and she couldn't help but be curious of my thing down there. She was kind of acting like oh no why are you naked, but she was also taking peeks all the time. It was like she wanted it, but couldn't admit wanting it or maybe was shy, I don't know. I put my underwear, dried, she took a shower, and also came out naked after finishing and putting her pijama in front of me. I offer to give her a massage and she agreed, I removed her clothes for the massage and use some moisturizing cream we have for the hands as massage oil.

When I was massaging her back, she couldn't help, but feel the electricity again, and was starting to move her body and making noises, I took that as a sign that she wouldn't mind if I spice things up, and started wishpering in her ear, like most girls she is very sensitive in the ear, so she started moaning with pleasure. I said to her I wanted to kiss her, and she said ok, so I just kiss her neck, and then she turned around and we started making out, removing my clothes, put a condom and had sex.

We always knew we felt the desire for each other before that happened because we could feel the sexual tension whenever we touched, and always joked accusing her of seducing me, while she said it was my fault that we felt that electricity. She always made it clear that she didn't want to date me, because I'm her good friend, and I always agree and said we couldn't date because we would just be too perfect for each other in a joking manner, I never took her rejection like a solid rejection because I knew that her words were not congruent with her behaviour. She was saying one thing, but her body was clearly saying the opposite and when I call her out for it she admitted, it could be possible.

We still don't date and have no intention of being together, but whenever we see each other we have sex and then just do normal friendly things like shopping, eating, watching moves, but we are also dating other people, she is dating some guy, and I am dating some other girl, we are not in exclusive relationships though.

To summarise:

If you are the guy, be very sexual, act like a man with her, it's ok to be friends, but be a man, don't hide your sexual interest, let her know she is turning you on but don't be creepy about it, always say things in a joking manner, don't tell her you want a relationship, instead just joke that you could never be together or things like that, but continue flirting, teasing and touching her, be comfortable with your sexuality and when there is an opportunity take it, don't hesitate don't be shy about it, be perfectly comfortable and confident of expressing your sexual desire. 

If you are scared of rejection or shy about sex or think she would get offended, you will never have a friends with benefits, also never tell her you have feelings for her because then the friendship with benefits will be over, and of course don't act jealous if she talks with or about other guys, and make a move, if you never go for a kiss, nothing will happen even if you both feel sexual tension, so tell her what you want and if she says yeah, game on.

As I said, I never hide the fact that I found her sexually desirable and that if she kept looking at me like that or touching at me like that, one day I would kiss her, she could have avoided me after saying things like that, but instead she played along until it happened, and now she is the one wanting it more than I do.

This answer taken from my Quora feed: 

How do you have a friend with benefits

How to show a girl that you want to become more than friends.

You show her by treating her like you want more than friendship, and by showing that you don't think of her as just a friend anymore, and that is by flirting with her, teasing her playfully, playfully touching her, and making moves. To flirt and tease could make your friendship awkward because you are behaving all of the sudden like a guy who wants to be with her rather than a guy who is just platonic. They key thing here is to know what you want if you begin to flirt with her then you should be ok with the fact that you could lose the friendship, which is normal. You cannot be both platonic friends and romantic partners, you have to choose.

Teasing examples:

• Pretending that she is annoying you with an obvious smile when you pretend to be annoyed. It has to be obvious that you are exaggerating your drama to the point of absurdity.
• Exaggerating playfully every mistake she makes, for example if she has trouble opening the locker, you could over exaggerate how clumsy she is, and like even a 1 year old could do it, the more you exaggerate the better, so she knows you are joking or must not be serious (Note: don't be too mean, always say you are just kidding at the ends, specially if she gets a bit mad or sad after teasing her).
• Offering a high five to her, but leave her hanging when she is about to high five you and making a bit of fun of her for being so naive.
• Pretend like something she did has disgusted you for example: “OMG, gross, you just spat on me when you said that, you are lucky to be pretty, cuz once the looks are gone you will be in trouble” if she says sorry you say “just kidding, you didn't actually spat on me” or “Did you just fart, that's gross” she will deny it, but when you see her friends you could say “watch out with her she might or might not have farted just a minute ago, you might wanna get away from her ;)”
• Putting something she wants further away out of her reach and say “oh look it's running away better catch it before it's gone!”
• Copying, mimicking or even exaggerating her behaviour, her mannerisms, her expressions, her accent, her way of talking, her body language, her hand gestures, to make fun of her.
• Adding fake drama after she says or does something mean or dumb and say out loud things like: “that's it, we can't be friends anymore”, “that's it, we are breaking up”, “mental note to myself, don't date or talk to Christina”, “walk away from her… act like you don't know her”
• Acting like you didn't understand at all what she is saying and asking her to repeat herself all the time until she realises that you are just messing around with her.

Flirting examples (teasing prepares her for flirting):

• Taking what she says as an opportunity to hit on her: she says “are you gay” you say with a smirk “I was, just before I met you” or “not anymore” or she says: “how can you survive in such cold weather” you say: with a smirk “because you make me feel hot”
• Winks, air kisses, licking or biting your lip casually, letting her catch you checking her out, all of these is sexual behaviour that let's the other person know you are flirting.
• Low Voice tonality: if you want to make sure you are flirting lowering your voice tonality is great because it makes your voice sound more sexual, the trick is to make the things you say sound sexually suggestive by lowering and slowing down the tonality of your voice. (I don't mean lowering the volume of your voice it's not about speaking quietly, I mean lowering the tonality to sound more deep and more sexual).
• Compliments: “did I ever mention that you look so beautiful/sexy”, “I love your smile, it lights up the entire room”, “when you dress like that, it's so hard to keep my composure”, “when you smile at me like that, my heart starts beating faster”.

Playfully touching her:

• Playing footsie: this is when you touch a girls leg or feet with your own feet, by “accident” and instead of moving them away you playfully continue to touch her (if she doesn't want to play footsie, don't force it or she will start to think you are creepy, just try and see if she like it)
• Tickling her, hugging her, putting your hand on her waist, dancing with her, playing with her fingers, holding hands. Touching is essential. Touching can arouse people, but you need to be careful and do it right, if you touch in the wrong way or wrong place or at the wrong time, or you look very nervous when touching her it will be creepy, so act like it's normal and no big deal to touch people and make sure you don't touch butt, vagina, breasts, and you will be fine.

Making moves examples (flirting prepares her for your advancements, so that they are not totally unexpected):

• What's your number? (Texting is only for setting up dates, not to get to know her over the phone or to express any type of feelings and emotions over the phone)
• I wanna go out with you and have fun, how about next Saturday? (Asking out on dates)
• Attempting to kiss her or if you are adult have sex with her (though remember that No means No, so don't force it)
• Proposing or revealing your feelings of love to her: (this should only be done if you have already kiss her, have had sex with her and went on dates with her) if you are just friends who have not done any moves before this last one, then don't propose or confess feelings to her.

Is it wrong to talk to a girl before the first date, does it necessarily lead to getting into the friend zone?

You only become just friends when you let it happen. If you don't tell a girl you fancy her from the beginning and you talk to her without expressing your intentions from the beginning then you just become platonic friends. She doesn't put you in the friendzone, she just simply is treating you as a friend.

That's why when you confess feelings later she says that she only sees you as a friend, because you have been acting as her friend, and she has only treat you as her friend and has never had the chance to think of you as more than a friend and just because you say you fancy her now, it's too late for her to see you on a different way.

You always need to be clear about what you are looking for from the beggaring that you first talk to a woman for the first time. If you are not clear, then girls will assume that you don't like them that way and will therefore be just your friend, or like you say you will be in the friendzoned. So basically the friendzone is not a punishment or anything it's just that the girls don't know you like them, and when you finally reveal that you like them it's too late, since they have already made the decision long time ago that you are just their friend and always will be.

So, if you talk to a girl before the date, you need to be clear, flirt with her, hit on her, say pick up lines if necessary to get your intentions across, call her attractive or sexy, or anything that suggests you fancy her sexually, and not as a platonic friend.

And if she doesn't want anything like that with you, she will let you know, but that's doesn't mean she had friendzoned you… it will just mean she has rejected you, but offers friendship if you are interested in that, and if you are not interested in just friends you shouldn't accept the offer.

How to impress a girl in school

The moment a woman senses you are trying to impress her she is turned off. Because attractive men don't need to try to be attractive. (And I don't just mean physically attractive, but overall attractiveness)

Don't impress her let her impress you.

Getting a girlfriend is not about impressing her it's about you encouraging her to impress you. You are not the one who has to impress her, it's her who has to impress you. She is the one who has to put effort to get you, and for her to put effort to get you, you need to be impressive.

So what does that mean? It means that you should be an impressive man not for her but on a day to day basis even if you never see her again. If you do impressive things just for her and to her, but then when you are not around her you go back to normal non-impressive mode, that is not impressive and she will know that you are full of shit when you try to impress her.

It’s not about doing things that make her say wow. It's about doing things that make you proud of yourself and to woo yourself. For example working out and getting a good body is what you can do to be impressive. If you get a good body, you will be an impressive man without specifically trying to woo her, which will make her put effort to get you to notice her and choose her. However if you say to her that you only workout to get girls she will be turned off. So do it for yourself, do it because you care about being healthy.

Another one is developing a hobby, something that you are good at and that you actually like doing, even if girls do not notice. For example, playing an instrument like the guitar. But not so that you can impress girls, but because you actually love guitar even if no girl cares. You need to be impressive and then girls will try hard to impress you and when that happens that's when you will get girls.

Focus on being impressive or impressing yourself for your own pride. Avoid trying to impress girls or trying to do things to get the approval of girls. Learn the difference between these two statements and apply it.

How to convince a girl who ignores you to like you

A typical question many guys ask is

What should I do to convince a girl who I liked, but after hearing it from me she won’t even talk with me?

The problem is that you are choosing the worst words for this, you don't convince anyone to like you, that is just silly, and very desperate I may add. 

Would you be convinced if a girl you simply didn't like for whatever reasons (maybe she is fat, or ugly, or old, or whatever) tried to convince you that you should date her? how? It's very unlikely.

You cannot use reason or logic to convince someone to like you. If you have to convince someone that you are good enough for her, it's because you are not. 

If you were good enough, she wouldn't need you to convince her, she would just think you are good enough. The same way she doesn't need to convince you that she is good enough for you, because you just know she is.

So, does that mean that everything is lost? that it's just about luck whether someone likes you or not? Not exactly.

You see, the reason you like her is because she has qualities that you find yourself attracted to, maybe it beauty; maybe it's her personality, her sense of humour, or her fashion sense or whatever.

That's why you know she is good enough because she has things you appreciate in girls that make you feel attracted to her

If she doesn't like you, it's because you are not showing her that you have qualities that she appreciates in guys that make her feel attractive towards you. 

So, how can you know what those qualities are, you may ask now, and it's a fair question. But the thing you have to understand is that you don't change yourself for something that this girl likes, you change yourself to grow up and be proud yourself of your own accomplishments, for example:

• You don't learn to be funny, only because girls like funny guys. You learn to be funny, because you want to make others feel good because that makes you happy and fulfilled.
• You don't go to the gym and get a 6 pack and some muscles, only because girls like fit guys. You workout because you want to prove to yourself that if you put your mind to it you can accomplish big goals, that not everyone can.
• You don't work for money in a job you hate, because you think girls like guys who have money. You work because you have a mission in life to make it a bit better with your skills, and earning money is just an indirect consequence of having a life mission, and not just a goal in itself.
• You don't play the guitar because you heard this girl likes guys who play guitar. You play guitar if you really feel like guitar is your passion which fulfils you and makes you proud of the music that comes from you playing it, and which you’s play even if girls didn't like it.

The point I am trying to make is that, just like she doesn't change herself for you, and you happen to like her for what she is, you don't change yourself for her, because you think then she will like you for that. 

You only change if you think that you want to change, because the way you are now doesn't fulfil you or satisfy you or make you proud of who you are. 

So, for example if you feel like your life is boring and a girlfriend would solve it, then you need to change not just to attract the girl but because you need to know what you can offer her.

If you have nothing valuable to offered to enjoy and seek a girl to have something valuable for you to enjoy, then she will probably not like you, because why would she? She has no reasons to.

In that case you need to change and become an attractive guy who has a life and things that makes him proud of himself. 

And only then when you have those things that make you proud of yourself and your accomplishments, it's when you go for the girl you like.

Now, at that point you are not gonna try to convince her to like you or give you an opportunity, at that point you are now offering her the opportunity to be with you, and if she doesn't accept the opportunity, it's her loss. 

Because you simply don't need to share what you have to offer her, if it's not appreciated.

“Do not cast pearls into swine” because the swine won't appreciate how valuable pearls are, so it's pointless to try to convince the swine.

But of course if you don't see yourself as valuable as a pearl, and you have nothing to offer her as valuable as her pearls, then it's unlikely she will want your offer. 

The reason she doesn't like you is because she doesn't think you have anything as valuable as her pearls to offer her. 

So you cannot convince her that if you offer her shit, she should accept and exchange her pearls for your shit. 

The only way you can show her that you have something valuable to offer her is by changing your offer, in other words become more valuable by doing accomplishing things that honestly make you proud.