What to talk about or say to make a girl interested in you

The typical answer most people give to this question is be yourself. 

These people have never had a problem when it comes to dating so of course they just tell you to “be yourself” as if you haven't been yourself until they told you here in Quora, or when they say that girls either they are interested or they aren't, “as if you couldn't make yourself more attractive or interesting by working out or having an interesting life or interesting hobbies or social life, forgetting the fact that just because you talk about things that you both like doesn't mean the other person will want a romantic relationship with you, which is what you want.

So what then is the trick to get someone interested in you you might ask now? Well, its not a one magic trick and boom she is interested, I will try to explain as good as I can:

1- Make your life interesting. 

Why do I say this? because the majority of guys who want a girl to like them tend to be guys who don't have much going on in their life's apart from going to school, or work in a 9 to 5 boring job, or playing videogames and watching TV. If your life is not interesting you will have less things to talk about and your life will be less interesting. Most people are boring because they live boring life's, so if you stand out and do many different things like playing sports, music, traveling, learning languages, reading about topics you are passionate about, going to parties… etc you will have more experiences and things to talk about. The more experinces you have the more interesting you will be, and the easier to connect as well with other people. If you just play videogames all day and pretty much nothing else, why would anyone be interested in you?

2- Work out. 

Not only is it healthy for you but also makes you look more attractive, the more attractive you are the less interesting you have to be. See how many attractive girls get so much attention just for being pretty when they really are boring and do nothing interesting with their lives apart from buying clothes and make up from the mall…. With guys is the same most people who work out are pretty dumb, they really are not that interesting all they talk about is protein, 6 packs, and all that, yet they get many girls interested in them.

3- Act in a masculine way, not in a feminine way. (Probably gonna get hammered with this statement.) 

Why do I say it? Because many boys act very weak towards girls, they are insecure, they are clingy, needy So on… those behaviours are not masculine, I can't tell you how many women feel like they are the man in the relationship when they are dating guys who act like that. Attraction grows when men act more masculine and when girls act more feminine. 

So if you find yourself constantly texting girls To get them to like you over the phone stop, you are not gonna make them like you more over the phone at least not in a romantic way. Don't bombard her with texts, if she ignores you don't pursue her or demand from her why she hasn't replied to you, just continue living your life and go talk to other woman, never focus all your attention on one woman as that will most likely make you needy. 

If she ignores your text you should know that the quickest way to get someone's attention is also to remove your attention from them. be willing to walk away from a girl and mean it. If you are scared of losing a girl you will indeed lose her. Only use the phone to set up dates, not to get to know them.

 (If you use the phone/Facebook, whatsapp,FaceTime, Skype,iMessage…) to get to know them then you will just be a virtual pen pal, a text buddy.

(You won't get anywhere with women if you do most of the conversation online) Never put all your happiness into the girl, make sure that you can be happy without a girl. This is the most important point. If you are insecure the girl will end up leaving you. 

Girls don't appreciate clingy boys in the long term because they look like childs that girls have to take care of and reassure them constantly that they are loved, which is not their ideal of a strong independent men.

4- Do not be yourself, instead seek to be a better version of yourself. 

Why? Because if you are just yourself and until now you haven't got any woman interested in you then, what makes you think that that will change if you continue to be yourself??? Always aim to be better and more interesting.

5- Talk to many women.

The more you talk with women the more you will get used to them, the less anxious you will be when talking to them, and the more you will know what they like to talk about.

6- Travel:

The more you travel the more experiences you will have, most people don't go to many countries outside of theirs so by doing that you become the most interesting guy almost anywhere you go.

Conclusion:

Know that it's not so much as to what you talk about with women to make them like you, but rather how you behave with them. To make them interested in you, just act in a masculine way and dont put women in a pedestal, in other words don't treat women like they are princess who need to be pleased by their man or who need a man to make them happy, avoid listening to all their problems, avoid being their shoulder to cry on, becuase women don't want to date or have sex with men who act like their female friends or gay best friends. Also, avoid taking advice from songs or romantic comedies, why do I say this? Because this portrays fantasies for women which are not real… It's pretty much Porn for women. Have you ever watch porn? You would find that while it excites you, porn and reality are very different almost opposite. What works in romantic movies, love songs or porn, doesn't work in real life.

Why don't some girls like or find nice guys attractive?

I found this somewhere, but....there is a fair amount of truth to it, imo.
You hear it all the time: "He was such a NICE Guy, and she's such a Heartless Bitch for dumping him."

Nice Guys complain that women must WANT to be treated like shit, because THEY, the "Nice Guy" have failed repeatedly in relationships. This is akin to the false logic that "Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea."

If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it.

What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys (tm) are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.

Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...

Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.

Nice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a "lets get together for coffee" date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a "date".

They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.

They cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him.

Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one.

Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner.

Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here."

The nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousies and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people out there who can be a good match for her. We rarely stop loving people we truly care about. Even if we no longer continue the relationship, the feelings will continue... But love isn't mutually exclusive. We can (and do) love many people in our lives, and romantic love is really no different. Though he may love her immensely, there will likely be other people who have loved her just as much in her past, and will love her just as much in the future. The irony of it all is: "Who would want to go out with someone who was inherently unlovable anyways?"

More than loving the woman in his life, a Nice Guy NEEDS her. "She is my Life, my only source of happiness..." YECH! What kind of a burden is that to place on her? That SHE has to be responsible for YOUR happiness? Get a grip!

Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is usually disappointed by the results.

This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Guys don't like themselves. Is it any wonder women don't like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Guys mistake obsession for "love".

Get this Guys: INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY. IT'S A TURNOFF.

You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible.

How to convince a girl who ignores you to like you

A typical question many guys ask is

What should I do to convince a girl who I liked, but after hearing it from me she won’t even talk with me?

The problem is that you are choosing the worst words for this, you don't convince anyone to like you, that is just silly, and very desperate I may add. 

Would you be convinced if a girl you simply didn't like for whatever reasons (maybe she is fat, or ugly, or old, or whatever) tried to convince you that you should date her? how? It's very unlikely.

You cannot use reason or logic to convince someone to like you. If you have to convince someone that you are good enough for her, it's because you are not. 

If you were good enough, she wouldn't need you to convince her, she would just think you are good enough. The same way she doesn't need to convince you that she is good enough for you, because you just know she is.

So, does that mean that everything is lost? that it's just about luck whether someone likes you or not? Not exactly.

You see, the reason you like her is because she has qualities that you find yourself attracted to, maybe it beauty; maybe it's her personality, her sense of humour, or her fashion sense or whatever.

That's why you know she is good enough because she has things you appreciate in girls that make you feel attracted to her

If she doesn't like you, it's because you are not showing her that you have qualities that she appreciates in guys that make her feel attractive towards you. 

So, how can you know what those qualities are, you may ask now, and it's a fair question. But the thing you have to understand is that you don't change yourself for something that this girl likes, you change yourself to grow up and be proud yourself of your own accomplishments, for example:

• You don't learn to be funny, only because girls like funny guys. You learn to be funny, because you want to make others feel good because that makes you happy and fulfilled.
• You don't go to the gym and get a 6 pack and some muscles, only because girls like fit guys. You workout because you want to prove to yourself that if you put your mind to it you can accomplish big goals, that not everyone can.
• You don't work for money in a job you hate, because you think girls like guys who have money. You work because you have a mission in life to make it a bit better with your skills, and earning money is just an indirect consequence of having a life mission, and not just a goal in itself.
• You don't play the guitar because you heard this girl likes guys who play guitar. You play guitar if you really feel like guitar is your passion which fulfils you and makes you proud of the music that comes from you playing it, and which you’s play even if girls didn't like it.

The point I am trying to make is that, just like she doesn't change herself for you, and you happen to like her for what she is, you don't change yourself for her, because you think then she will like you for that. 

You only change if you think that you want to change, because the way you are now doesn't fulfil you or satisfy you or make you proud of who you are. 

So, for example if you feel like your life is boring and a girlfriend would solve it, then you need to change not just to attract the girl but because you need to know what you can offer her.

If you have nothing valuable to offered to enjoy and seek a girl to have something valuable for you to enjoy, then she will probably not like you, because why would she? She has no reasons to.

In that case you need to change and become an attractive guy who has a life and things that makes him proud of himself. 

And only then when you have those things that make you proud of yourself and your accomplishments, it's when you go for the girl you like.

Now, at that point you are not gonna try to convince her to like you or give you an opportunity, at that point you are now offering her the opportunity to be with you, and if she doesn't accept the opportunity, it's her loss. 

Because you simply don't need to share what you have to offer her, if it's not appreciated.

“Do not cast pearls into swine” because the swine won't appreciate how valuable pearls are, so it's pointless to try to convince the swine.

But of course if you don't see yourself as valuable as a pearl, and you have nothing to offer her as valuable as her pearls, then it's unlikely she will want your offer. 

The reason she doesn't like you is because she doesn't think you have anything as valuable as her pearls to offer her. 

So you cannot convince her that if you offer her shit, she should accept and exchange her pearls for your shit. 

The only way you can show her that you have something valuable to offer her is by changing your offer, in other words become more valuable by doing accomplishing things that honestly make you proud.